I see blank faces on older people, the spark has gone, and wonder if the ones I see are those who are on several different brain-dulling medications daily, with little boxes so they don't forget to take one. Annually, dutifully lining up for their flu shots.
That was the scary future I imagined after I let myself be persuaded by a fearful family to accept chemo. After one dose, I said 'no' ... it had taken away my hearing. "That's not supposed to happen. We'll send you to the hearing specialist", says the oncologist.
"It was your drug that did it" said I.
"That's not supposed to happen" gave me the third clue.
First one was "something happens in the DNA, we don't know yet what it is, and it switches to a cancer."
That was the first clue.
The second clue: I thought I was special after our interview. When I was being drip fed that stuff, he waltzed through the ward with barely a glance in my direction. "Now I'm another tick on his sheet," I thought. "Another one in the bag."
Enough! My hearing has gone.
It was then that I realised that I was in a mysterious matrix, where strange confusing language was used, and weird promises made. I didn't believe them, because I knew that although their vocabulary was accessible to medics, they didn't know what they were talking about. I was later to discover how awful the whole system is.
It's make or break, isn't it, my friend? "Shit or bust" to use the vernacular. So I went for the former. Cleared them all out.
Strange to say this, I know, but nonHodgkins was a life saver for me. With a new diet, and very little in toxicity, I feel now as though I'd been one of those sleepers for the previous thirty or more years.
Now I'm over it, I realise how it's been a superb nudge out of torpor.
Not many are so fortunate. Many paths through it can be taken. "Are you crazy? Be sensible and take the 'traditional' route."
A tradition that's been going on for only a hundred years, set up by corrupt companies is no tradition at all. "Capitulate to the cancer conveyor belt system."
Or you can do nothing different, in which case you'll probably live longer than with chemo anyway. Anyone who's seen the rapid deterioration of someone you love will have seen how it destroys them.
Or you can look around a bit for alternatives. In this respect, we've had the best of times in the last ten years.
Now research gets more difficult. On youtube, access to helpful alternative doctors are hidden by people with the same name.
Billy Boy's 'fact checkers' came on the scene and blocked many avenues. But understandable, when you're determined to get the world on medication. Ha!
Love,
John.
