Relationships are the most difficult issues to deal with.
I was diagnosed with stage 4 non-Hodgkins In December 2015. In the consultation prior to the R-CHOP 'therapy' I asked my oncologist if it would be OK to take other supplements during the period of chemo. I listed the ingredients of Essiac tea, bromelaine, snow fungus and a few others.
'Herbs," he said, disbelievingly, "you don't believe they actually work, do you?" The McMillan nurse in the same room pulled him up on this comment, no doubt commiserating with my lack of education, and feeling that anything that would engender some kind of hopeful positivity was to be encouraged.
He later came back with a 'no' to every one of them. In my simplicity I'd kind of imagined that they had a chemistry lab somewhere with reliable data to give definitive analyses.
When the exotic liquid was injected into my cerebro-spinal fluid it produced a dramatic hearing loss, I told my wife I wouldn't be having any more. She didn't speak to me for 3 days. After which I told her it was my choice, and I'd be doing it my way, with or without her support. I'd been watching a lot of stuff on YouTube, and she'd dismissed them out of hand as being American quackery. Now she was fearful that I'd be putting myself in an early grave, but nevertheless she fearfully accompanied me on my journey.
The McMillan nurse told me, "Sure, you'll be able to go for runs and carry on working". The first session had been a living nightmare; from day two to day seven I might have slept three or four hours in total. I have every sympathy for anyone who's experienced chemo of any type. When you can believe only half of what you're told, and you don't know which half, it's a real conundrum.
I've turned my back on any medicine that's laboratory synthesized to treat body chemistry.
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As an aside, supplementary drugs were issued to deal with R-CHOP toxicity,
Prednisolone: A corticosteroid prescribed in case of mood swings, because the natural steroids in the body have been killed off.
Ondansetron: To reduce the possibility of nausea and vomiting, the body's natural reaction in which it attempts to eliminate chemical toxins.
Aciclovir: Antiviral drug. The body is helpless in the face of any opportunist virus.
Allopurinol: For the prevention of kidney stones. The kidneys have been sorely attacked as they filter the toxic chemo in the blood prior to urine elimination.
Omeprazole: To prevent acid reflux. Stomach function has been severely compromised, and the one and a half kilos of beneficial microbes in the gut, the human biome, have been more or less totally killed off.
Co-trimoxazole: A drug to prevent bacteria having a field day. You are cautioned not to eat any fruit or vegetables without first peeling them. Biting into the skin of a delicious Granny Smith is strictly off-limits.
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Four weeks after the first injection, and prior to my next bout of chemo (out of a planned course of seven, the last two being extra-strength, followed by radiotherapy), I told the oncologist that I'd lost some hearing and wouldn't be having any more. He said, "Oh, dear, John, we'll make an appointment with the hearing specialist." Why, when it's obviously the effect of chemo? He offered alternative doses and even leaving the offending item out.
I tactfully declined, always maintaining a friendly rapport with him. He said, "But John, think of your family!" I said, "But I am." The McMillan nurse almost audibly gasped, "But John, we're not offering you a palliative here, we're offering you a cure!" But if this is what happens after just one bout of chemo, and it's not even mentioned in the side-effects list, what of peripheral neuropathy, kidney failure and the innumerable other effects of the chemo?
10 weeks later a scan showed all clear.
The oncologist said, "Must have been the chemo that did it."
Then why bring the pressure on to make me take more chemo?
I reckon that inhibiting toxicity and supplying the body with the nutrition it needs, living on juicing, the oil, the Essiac tea, the bromelaine, vitamin C and many other ingredients were the real objects of thanks. And I'm sure that for me, practicing forgiveness played a great part too, because all that ill feeling can be as toxic as anything else.
I'm free of all medication now.
And strangely the organic restricted vegan diet,
(deprived of man-made chemicals, sugar, wheat and alcohol)
much of it raw, is no longer a hardship,
in fact it's delicious and I can feel
it's beneficial effects coursing through the body.
Imagination? Maybe, but I believe imagination is very powerful.
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Remember Rudyard Kipling's,
"If you can keep your head
when all around you are losing theirs
and blaming it on you ..."
The pressure's on, and from many unexpected directions.
Family, friends, medics and all your education
points you towards chemo.
The big question is,
when you lose faith in science,
what else can you lean on?
There's an inner wisdom that fights against
the imposition of others from outside.
What I've done may sound as if it's OK for me, as if I knew what I was doing, as if I was certain that my course of action would solve the problem. Not so. The only thing I was really sure of was that the insanity of chemo was not the way for me.
Being zoned out on oil for ten weeks helped, but was interfering with our marriage (my wife had had enough of that in the past), so after the all-clear I gave the oil up and concentrated purely on a diet of nutrition and forgiveness.
Everything that happens has a purpose. If my wife had not been so adamant about me having that first dose of chemo, and I had not felt the results, I'm certain that my resolve would not have been as great. I harbour no resentment for this, nor for any acts by other people (that I can think of). And it's probably the only time that she has ever admitted to me, "I was wrong".
The whole episode might have been worth it, just for that ;)
Be well, be happy, and I wish you
the best of health in both this
and in all following years.
Love,
John
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